i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the day after is always just damage control
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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