I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
