oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
