MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I love you. Go after that dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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