hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need moral support for this bender
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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