New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
