Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
