My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
