Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
