So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
