The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
