for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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