so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
