This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize