her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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