OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
