actually, I'm a sock model
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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