just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
