Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
