You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
