I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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