Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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