If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love having hate sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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