Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
