Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize