Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
