im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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