Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
