I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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