you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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