Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Will exercising make me less horny?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
