Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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