i think my tv is drunk
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
