Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
