After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
