I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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