Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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