Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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