Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
