Having a random hookup so left but love u
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
