I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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