Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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