my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize