Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize