I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
