I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
