yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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