i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My life is pants optional.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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