Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
