new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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