I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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