u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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