are you still at the devil's house?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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