I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
