every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
