shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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