She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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