i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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