so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
